Grit In The Gap

I’m gonna go nurse my wounds on the beach this weekend and in Kansas this summer, with some choice beverages and my boyfriend and good friends. I’ll be in a better mood when I get back.

• Sherman: What's your nickname?
• Me: Well, my name is Kathryn, but my family calls me Katey or Kate.
• Sherman: ...Kathryn, is that like, "Hello, Kathryn obvious"?

Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. Four more days. 

Until this horrible no good very bad year is over!

There is seriously, as I type, a substitute para talking to herself and gesturing to herself, with no clue that it’s weird/inappropriate. What do I even do with that?

Today was an angry aneurysm day. The powerless leave-you-shaking and let-hot-waves-of-tears-run-over you kind. Too many fights. Too much defiance. Too much bullying.

Eleven more days. 

jbizzle329:

Before the end of the school year, I will…

• Run 3 miles a day, 3 times a week
• Hit the gym or get a workout in at least 5 days/week
• Drink at least 64oz of water daily
• Participate in the 100 Pushups challenge - JOIN ME!

This is what I’m doing.

What are you doing?

Well! Where have I been? This is exciting. Now I can combine teaching with…nearly the only other thing I prioritize. Wellness was the theme of my New Years’ resolutions, so I’ve been working on the following for awhile:

• Lose 7 pounds. Check. I know this is arbitrary and, some would argue, unnecessary, but I consumed a lot over Holiday break. And Thanksgiving. And my birthday. And the summer. And my whole second year of teaching. And I didn’t work out, and I got squishy.
• Run a half marathon! Scheduled for June 2nd in Kansas City with one of my sisters. I’ve gone from 0 to 10 miles in about four months. Right now, I have some arch issues, so I’ve been taking it easy. But I’m going to try for a full 13 this weekend and see how it goes.
• 100 push up challenge. Slash, lift weights and just gain muscle. But this is a convenient test/goal.  Waiting for the half marathon to be over though.
•  Cordon off certain parts of my brain for school and home, so that one doesn’t affect the other and I work out whether school sucked or not. I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been better than years before. NOW I can share on here. (Not that I couldn’t before, but now I feel compelled).

So, before the end of the year, I will just keep up all of the above.

And systems that drive people to be mean suck worse.

That’s all for now.

Why does so much of teaching seem like a power struggle? And not the kind where you’re fighting with kids, but the kind where you are literally struggling for power—for humanity, dignity, consideration, justice, acceptance, professionalism, and joy.

I hate when kids just screw you over and throw you under the bus. I hate when the parents back them up on it. I hate when other adults are suddenly M.I.A. I hate getting chastised for kids who are failing, because what power do I have to change that? At least in this position? It feels like none today.

4 weeks and 1.5 days.

That is all.

Pick UP Your Pencils, Begin is a gigantic bell curve 28’ wide and 15’ tall about the impact of standardized testing on our educational system.

(via Harriete Estel Berman sculpture with pencils about Education)

Why are they all male? Why is it 10:00am and I’ve already been called it?

And adults who have a physical disability or are aware of being in any way what a budding teenager who doesn’t fit in but desperately wants to would not consider “normal,” you need to be prepared. These kids are works in progress. Especially middle school kids. Especially SPED kids. 

Be aware of yourself and confident in yourself, grow some thick skin, and be ready to have a conversation with the children about your appearance or condition. I know it is not ideal, and I know it hurts, but yelling at them or insulting them back is so destructive for you, the child, and anyone who looks/sounds/walks/etc. like you. It also puts me, the teacher, in a tough spot because yes, they shouldn’t make fun of you, but no, you shouldn’t raise your voice at them. Or, actually, it was an honest question, and they are rightfully curious but lack the social skills to express it properly.

If you can’t take it, it’s totally understandable. Just don’t work in a middle school Special Ed.! 

Ok, I’ve wanted to say that for a long time.